Dear Aunty Jane
Hello, I met my boyfriend six months ago and we started off strong and fast, but then three months ago (3months into a relationship) the honey moon phase was over due to an incident with an ex of his that popped our bubble of happiness in a big way. And so the arguing began ( the incident with the ex is a whole different story, will have to be another post and he has apologized profoundly and acknowledged the wrong and he has proven himself up until now even so I can’t really keep on it) anyway but that just opened a whole door of insecurities that I have and we have spoken so often on how we can stop arguing and we would do well for a couple of weeks and then just fall back into it, this has been going on for three months but something changed this week, the arguing has become harmful and mean and almost like we hate each other or that we’re enemies. I find myself not caring to respond back to him. but I still want things to turn around, I know it can’t be what it was before but just to have a healthy relationship. When I ask him how he feels about me and us he doesn’t answer, he’ll either change the subject, so I don’t know how he feels at all about anything. When I have tried to brake up (in an attempt to see where his feelings lie from lack of knowledge) he flat out didn’t want us to end. so here I am asking for advice on what to do.
I think you know yourself there is no point in this relationship any more. It is clear he broke your trust and now you are insecure, which has led to arguments. He might not want the relationship to end but I think he has stopped trying now and giving up. I think you have done the same. I really don’t see any hope here. Do you trust him? It does not sound like you do, and there is no relationship if there is no trust.