Dear Aunty Jane
My boyfriend and I have been living together for four months. About five months ago, we nearly broke up because he wanted to move to another city. He went over there for a couple of weeks before deciding he didn’t want to live without me, so he moved back and things have been amazing ever since. Things are so different and amazing, it’s like he had some sudden realization.
Since living with him, we share his computer until I buy my own. This morning I was going through the browsing history to find the name of an online clothes shop that I’d purchased off once. I was looking about four months back, but it took me to five months back, when he was in the city. First thing I saw was ‘best local strip clubs’ then ‘local escort services’. From memory we were in a pretty rough place at that point. I asked his mate whom he was living with in the city about it and he said that one Saturday night they were driving around looking at the different clubs, bars and strip clubs, not parking or going in them.
I’m not sure whether it’s worth bringing up. The search history didn’t indicate any booking forms or phone numbers, just one click each on a few different websites so maybe he didn’t even pursue it. It just hurts to think that he thought about it. I sifted through the rest of the history, and that night was the only time he’s ever looked at something like that.
We’ve been together seven months total, so that happened pretty early into our relationship – is it worth opening up old wounds, knowing how he feels now compared to five months ago and knowing how close we’ve gotten since his move? I don’t want to be seen as naive, but I also don’t want to punish him for something he goggled five months ago. We love each other so much, and I think I’m willing to forgive and forget. Would it be naive of me to just start a clean slate from when we moved in together? Thoughts?
If this search is from when you momentarily broke up and he moved away, I wouldn’t bring it up.
It’s not like it’s somehow forbidden for anyone to look up stuff on their computer. Actually if my husband did a search on my history he would find all kind of odd stuff, because I do goggle things to find link to help people on DC.
It was a low-point for him and he goggled some stuff that wasn’t a good thing in a relationship, doesn’t mean he intended on using it. Now if it keeps popping up in the history I would bring it up, but this one time 5 months ago? No.